We love it wicked...we keep it wicked.

What goes around comes around...

2006-01-23T05:23:24Z

I haven't written in or even really looked at this thing in forever. I just feel like I need to spill my guts. I tend to do that much better in writing(or in this case, typing) than speaking to someone. Because of the way I was raised, and the life I've lived, I'm really good at hiding things- mainly my emotions. To the outside world, I seem to be really happy with my life and myself. Inside, I'm so depressed and can't stand the sight of myself. I look in the mirror, and see a failure. I'm in college, yes... but so what? I'm only gonna fuck that up too. It's like everything I ever try to do to better myself turns to shit. I have only been in college for a week and I already hate it. It's just like a bad version of high school... minus the fun, and care free attitude, and plus stupid ass foreign people and ridiculous expenses. I'm really going to be living paycheck to paycheck...barely because it's not like I'm really getting any help. My parents were nice enough to help me out with the first two payments...although I had to pay them back, but it's better than nothing. They're also helping me with books. I guess that's good enough. I just need to make more money. Maybe I'll get a second job to occupy the little free time I actually do have. that will definitely just put me further into depression because I need to be around people other than fellow employees, customers, and classmamtes all the time. I especially need to be around Brandi. That girl makes me so fucking happy, you have no idea. (No, she's not my girlfriend, just a really good friend.) Whenever we hang out, it's so refreshing-like an ice cold bottle of water after an exhausting work out. I feel like I can forget about everything that's bothering me and just laugh and have a good time for the duration of the time we spend together. So yeah, if you're reading this Brandi, THANK YOU! You really are a big help. I know that I am surrounded by people who care about me, but it doesn't change the way I feel. I haven't been this depressed in a very long time and honestly, it's starting to scare me a little. I'm not sure what's gonna come of it. Hopefully, I'll just adapt to the way things are now, as always,and the depression will subside. I really need to join a gym. Shit like that usually helps too. Getting a second job is really sounding like a good idea right now. I still have the nights I don't have class, and the weekend. It's plenty of time, but it's gonna be hard. I know I can do it. I think I'll start looking this week. Hopefully something local. Who knew my life would become so boring so fast?

a_gaping_hole @ 2005-12-06T23:31:00

2005-12-07T04:36:53Z

I know I said I wasn't gonna post here anymore. Well I lied. Only sometimes, lol. A lot has been going on lately. I finally ended things with Ellen sometime last week. She hates me now because of the fact that I had a joke with some people about her resembling Rocky Dennis. SHE JUST MAD! Haha. I will admit that I'm kinda upset about the way things ended, but shit happens. You know how Nikki rolls... she will be replaced. I almost feel like ANYONE would be better than her. Well, that's not entirely true. In other, more IMPORTANT news, I'm starting to like my job again. Woo. Also, Leanne turns 18 in less than a half hour! We're going to Colo on Thursday... good times will be had. We're both singleeeeee! haha. I don't really know why I felt the need to update, oh well.

a_gaping_hole @ 2005-11-13T11:28:00

2005-11-13T16:30:29Z

I just wanted to inform anyone who reads this that I won't be posting in this journal anymore. I've moved down the street to
nikkipantalones
Stop by with some house warming gifts sometime. Ta-ta.
</span>

a_gaping_hole @ 2005-11-08T20:20:00

2005-11-09T01:23:04Z

Why do I think I deserve to have people to walk all over me? Why do I let stupid girls treat me like shit continuously? Why can't I just stay happy?

I don't care if you dye your hair, you'll always be a little red headed BITCH!

2005-10-16T16:59:44Z

Okay, I just found out some shit that really makes me angry. Way to kill what little self esteem I actually had. I hate how good I am to people who don't fucking deserve it. Whatever though, you think I'm ugly...and a bitch... don't fucking try and be nice to me while you talk all this shit behind my back. I'm human... I have feelings... obviously, you don't understand what those are you cold bitch. Well, like the old saying goes..."Shame on you if you fool me once, shame on me if you fool me twice." She lost a possible great friend. I don't have time for people like that in my life, I'm sorry. On a happier note... yesterday was pretty awesome. I went out to dinner and Uno's and then Sportsworld with Christina, Rick, Josh, and Nicole for Christina's birthday. Good times... we got OWNED by the Mexo team in laser tag though, haha. After that, we all went back to Christina's to start the REAL party. I totally forgot that I was supposed to go to Meg's party too, so she picked me up and I went there. I had planned to go back to Christina's but I ended up having no ride. I think she's mad at me... oh well, things happen. Meg threw a fucking great party. I didn't know like anyone there, but by the end of the night... or early this morning... we were all friends, haha. I met the cutest girl ever! It was still going strong until about 5 am. I conquered a straight girl too... and left my mark. That was funny. Yeah. So yesterday definitely cancels out the shit I heard earlier that pissed me off. FUCK THAT BITCH!

a_gaping_hole @ 2005-10-07T00:00:00

2005-10-07T04:02:46Z

I've come to the conclusion that I am sick of people. I want to build a cabin in the boonies somewhere that no one will ever find me and live alone for the rest of my life. Yeah, that'd be peachy right about now...

Maybe you're gonna be the one who saves me...

2005-10-05T23:10:48Z

I would just like ot take this opportunity to say A.) I'm fucking SPENT, again...and B.) I FUCKING LOOOOOOVE LEANNE NOEL GORZYNSKI to the max!!! She made me laugh really hard like not even 5 minutes ago because she flipped out about sauce and went on an angry rant. God I love my friends. ♥ ♥ ♥

Mad props to Danielle and Sam for showing me how to use that damn code! haha.

a_gaping_hole @ 2005-10-04T22:27:00

2005-10-05T02:30:06Z

I worked a twelve hour shift on my second day at my new job... needless to say, I'm fuckin SPENT! Oh, and this definitely will put me on my manager's good side. I'd do it again tomorrow if I was given the opportunity. I am in dire need of money... in large quantities. I might even get a second job. Alright, I'm too tired to keep typing. OH...before I forget.I met this boy that I work with and he is GORGEOUS!!! I couldn't keep my eyes off him and everytime he'd look back at me, I felt my face get red. Does that mean I'm not totally gay? Nahh... an innocent crush... on someone I'd NEVER have a chance in hell with anyway. Shit, I'm not a lesbian with a twist for nothing, haha. = P

My body's cold and it thinks that I'm already gone...

2005-10-03T23:52:55Z

If you haven't already done so, go out and get the new Coheed album because it's amazing. After listening to that and familiarizing yourself with all, or most, of the lyrics, you should then proceed to read the comic that goes along with it. This is also amazing. If you don't like Coheed... you're missing out and suck because of that. = P Yes, I've already done both... it's crazy how their music goes hand in hand with the storyline of the comics... Claudio is one crazy ass guy. Although I'm tired, I'm pretty damn happy. I LOVE MY NEW JOB! Even though it was only my first day today... It just seems too good to be true. I have good hours, they work well with the bus schedule, I don't have to walk a mile to get to work... and then have to do the same to get home, I actually work with some CUTE girls, there were NO obnoxious asshole Food Basics- type customers, and yeah... I just love it already. = ) Hopefully I'll still feel this way in a few weeks. I'm kinda excited to start school too. That will definitely help keep structure in my life, and make me feel like I have a purpose and am not just wasting my life away.Rutgers wasn't anything special this time. I did enjoy getting to spend the WHOLE weekend with Jean Marie though. I also got to chill with Sam and Danielle for a bit while I was there, good times. they are SO cute. Hopefully we can all chill more when I'm there. I'll probably go back two weekends from now since I won't have money this upcoming one. I have an "e-crush," as Danielle would put it, on this girl I've been talking to. We're supposed to hang out this week... hope that goes well. Hmmm... nothing else really... I'll keep ya posted.

And If you cry out loud, it'll only make me feel too good...

2005-09-30T19:30:18Z

I'm really proud of myself. Since I quit Food Basics, I had set a goal for the week. I had to find a job by today, so all week I went out job hunting. I found one yesterday at KB Toys in Paramus Park mall, and I start Monday. = ) I think that if I keep setting goals like this for myself, I'll be more motivated to do things, and hopefully I'll get my shit together. I'm going to Rutgers for the weekend with Josh because it'll be my last weekend of total freedom. Of course I gotta go out with a bang! After this weekned, it's back to my old responsible, working self. I like that side of me much better than the lazy, unemployed, unmotivated one. I'm also gonna be babysitting Josh's younger borther and sister, I looove those kids! Hopefully, I'll get my ass to the DMV someitme next week and make some progress on getting my license. I have a car already, so that's not the problem. Yeah, I hate not being able to drive myself places. I look really cute today. That is all.

a_gaping_hole @ 2005-09-26T15:24:00

2005-09-26T19:47:11Z

This weekend went pretty well... can't complain. I went to Rutgers with Christina again to see my Jean Marie. There weren't really any parties...surprisingly. It was because all the frat houses had their Rush dinners. WHAAAAACK! I had fun anyways... we always do. Jean Marie came home with us on Saturday and of course we hung out that night. It wasn't as much fun as we thought because our friends FUCKING SUCK!!! We still got CRUNKED so it's allll gravy. Yesterday, Sam calleld and asked if I wanted to go by BRAY just for the hell of it. I hadn't been there in a while, so we went. There were more people and new volunteers... two young lesbians and a funny guy. That was definitely a plus. I invited Krista and she brought two friends. It was much better than it has been in the past. After that, Sam, Juan and I wanted to go to Hooters. Krista and her friends came with us, good eats yo. Juan brought up the idea of going to a Hookah bar later on that night, and I thougth it was a good idea because we had nothing else to do and I had never been to one before. It was in NYC somewhere and was pretty damn cool. Of course, I didn't use the hookah at all, ick. Juan met up with this guy he met at Heaven...they were so cute! I found a Barbara Streisand record... I dunno why, but I kept it, haha. I'm weird... Tonight, if all goes as planned, I'm supposed to go to Cafe Eclectic with Krabby Pati! I'm kinda happy about that because I think I have an innocent lil' crush on her. She's got a great rack too, haha. Oh yeah, I went job hunting via the Bergen Record today... I was pretty successful. I have three places to go to tomorrow. A bar in Montclair, and bank in Teaneck, and a restaurant in Hackensack. Although I'm sure I'd enjoy it, I don't think I'm gonna go for the job in Montclair because it's hella far to get to by bus. Oh well, I really wanna waitress or bartend though...

Sing me something soft, sad and delicate...

2005-09-21T04:53:22Z

I stole this from Tabitha...it looked time consuming and I'm bored...

LJ Interests meme results

brandnew:
They're an awesome band... listening to them brings back some of the best memories I've had with my friends
cuddling:
one of my FAVORITE things to do, with the right girl, it's like one of the best feelings ever to just hold her and be held
everytime i die:
Another awesome band
hip hop:
Enables me to unleash the gangstahh inside, haha... fun music
laundromat dryers:
I like to sit in them? This goes back to the days of walking around this boring ass neighborhood in the winter, and then going into laundromats to warm up before returning to the brutal cold.
neon colors:
Well, that's easy. They're just as fun, bright, loud, and obnoxious as I am.
raab himself:
He is one funny/crazy mother fucker... what more can I say? He took a shit while running FULL SPEED down teh street in a jock strap, come on now...
skateparks:
Fun places to chill, and watch kids bust out some crazy shit since I can't really do anything yet
tattoos:
I find body modification to be beautiful... I'd have quite a few if I wasn't so broke.
vampires:
Mmmmmmmmm... yeah, I'm obsessed with vampires. Don't ask, I'm weird... don't get the wrong idea, I don't drink blood or let anyone drink mine... I just have a crazy fascination with the idea.

Enter your LJ user name, and 10 interests will be selected from your interest list.

Get down girl, go'head get down...

2005-09-16T04:11:24Z

I don't think I'll ever get sick of this song. Tomorrow is Rutgers, woooooo! As you can tell, I'm fuckin excited. I'm being qutie a college slut this week. I went to Drew for the Tea Pots reunion with Sam last night, Rutgers tomorrow, and then possibly NJCU on Sunday to see Lisa! I might actually end up going to see her on my day off next week but whatever. Jeff and Christina are going tomorrow too, and I think we're meeting up with some other fellow Dumontians there. I hope there's some hot lesbos there, haha. Yeah, I think we're gonna have fun. Work was sooo boring today. Time seemed to drag by really slowly. Thank god I'm doing a 9 to 5 shift like normal people do tomorrow. I don't think I could stand being there all night. Hmm, minus the whole loneliness thing, I can't really complain about anything. I guess that's a good thing. Oh well... ahhhhhhhh I can't wait until tomorrow! I'm such a fucking loser!!!!!!!

It don't stop, it don't stop, watch the hit nigga...

2005-09-14T03:41:34Z

Damn, Green Lantern is a fucking genius... he just knows how to keep throwin out hot mixes, and not one sucks. I shouldn't say that, haha. At the moment, I'm pretty calm... but earlier, I was feeling a huge surge of emotion run through me. I had the urge to go start a fight with someone and beat the shit outta them, but of course that's not my style. Instead, I just sit and try to forget. I've never been affected directly by homelessness... nor have I known anyone who actually was. Today, I found out something that damn near broke my heart. This kid Rich's father threw him out the other night... for good. He just out right said for him to get out at that instant and didn't allow him to take ANYTHING. The kid's a mess, it's not like he was much better before this happened but still. My heart goes out to him even though we're not friends. I've been worrying about him all day. Thank god he came into my job today a few times. I kept close watch over him, like a mother or something, and he's oler than me, haha. I fed him, gave him stuff to keep with him, and Josephine and I even found a clean shirt for him. I wish I could do so much more than I currently am for him, but I really have nowhere for him to stay. It's a given that I'd give the shirt off my back if he needed it, but I still feel that's not enough. I'm sure if he wasn't always drunk, it'd be much easier to get him a place to stay, but I can't watch over him 24/7. Oh well, I gave him my cell number, and told him to call me ANYTIME he needed anything. Hopefully he'll take me up on it. See? I DO have a heart. I'm sure no one wanted to have to read all of that though, sorry. In other news, I really need some lady lovin. The loneliness is getting to me quite a bit lately. I want a girlfriend... that is so not like me. I hate long entries, so I'm ending it here.

Wham, bam, thank you ma'am...

2005-09-10T19:18:04Z

Six Flags was fucking awesome yesterday. I came to the conclusion that, for the most part, gay people can't have fun if alcohol isn't involved. The line for the little stand that was selling the booze had a longer line than most of the rides. That just further proved my theory. There was an estimated 6,000 people there, which is CRAZY! I've never had so much fun there in my life, the atmosphere was amazing. Sam and I rode the tea cups quite a bit. We also hit up the bumper cars-where I really pissed off the guy working the ride. He kept saying, "ONE WAY," so I kept going in circles and saying, "I AM! Look, the wheel is turned, one way!" Haha, I'm such a retard sometimes... actually most of the time. I was constantly distracted by hoards of good looking girls, definitely a plus. Sam kept telling me about girls who were eyeballing me, but I just said they were looking at something else-every time. We went on the Houdini ride, and this ghetto ass Bunifa Jackson type girl made it funnier than ever. Gay men screaming also makes things a lot funnier. Oh man, I went on King Daka... or however it's spelled! It was awesome, although I was kinda scared at first. I felt my insides being thrown around, haha. I met some cool people waiting on the line for it too. Hmmmm... oh yeah. Of course when I found DDR in one of the arcades, I HAD to play. Two hot girls talked to me, but I choked... because they were hot. It was also because I was in my DDR zone, and I don't hear very much of what people say when I'm there. Hell, I just can't talk to girls in general. It was funny having people gather around and watch me play because I'm not even that good. I even made friends with the kid working there and got a free game. = P It's because I'm cool like that. The food was expensive as hell and gross. That was probably the only part that sucked. Needless to say, I left without meeting an awesome girl as I hoped I would. Oh well.

a_gaping_hole @ 2005-09-08T15:15:00

2005-09-08T19:29:22Z

Wow, three entries in one day, I really must be bored. No, I just don't remember all of what I want to say at once. Actually, this just happened right now, so I had to have a seperate entry. Anywho. I just called my dad to see what's going on with the family reunion on Saturday becasue I wasn't sure about when we we'd be leaving and shit. Well, it turns out that there's no room for me in the car. He said, "You can't have one of your friends drive you?" WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH HIM? IT'S NOT MY FUCKING FRIENDS' RESPONSIBILITY TO MAKE SURE I HAVE A WAY OF GETTING PLACES, ESPECIALLY MY OWN FAMILY REUNION. Whatever, it's not even my family. I made the effort, I even took off work. I can't fucking believe these people. Do they not see the way they treat me? Now I KNOW that they couldn't give a shit less about what happens to me, or having me around. This is why I moved out BEFORE I turned 18. I can't take it. That just put me in a really bad mood, and I feel like crying. I don't know why, I shouldn't be upset, just really pissed off. I really am sick of everything, I'm not even wanted my my own family. Fuck them. I don't need people in my life who are just gonna continuously try and bring me down. I will keep in touch with my brother Robert because I love him to death. My sister Jessie pisses me off becasue she only talks to me when she needs money or a ride somewhere. She's still family, one of the three blood relatives I have left. I've lost all respect for my father, so now I have two people left in my life who I'm actually related to by blood that I consider family. I am going to be a very lonely girl when holidays come around...

a_gaping_hole @ 2005-09-08T14:12:00

2005-09-08T18:12:43Z

Oh and PS... I'm finally ready to try this dating thing again... I want a girlfriend. Someone get on that, haha.

Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose...

2005-09-08T17:42:13Z

This is my first day off of work that Janine and Leanne are in school. I feel completely useless and I knew this would happen. I feel like I have no purpose or direction, and I'm deathly afraid of not making anything of myself. I guess it's because I really have no self esteem whatsoever, regardless of what I say to people. It's also probably because this is my first year without being in school. There is no way that I'm not gonnna start in the spring semester. I'm kicking myself in the ass for not getting my shit together sooner. I wish I could have gone away to college. After visitng Jess, I realized that I would be SO happy living in that type of atmosphere for four years. I can't feel like this for much longer, it's only going to lead to another depression that I can't get out of. I'm not quite there yet because I'm desperately trying to avoid it. I really have become pathetic though. I'm sick of going through life having to fight off depression constantly. It sucks when you don't think you're good enough for anything or anyone, and truly believe it. I'm done blaming other people for me thinking this way. At this point, it's up to me to change that, but what can I do? I know this is an opportunity to have a clean start. I get to make new friends, maintain a new set of grades-which will be good- and just figure out what I want to do with my life. People keep telling me all of the different careers they could see me going into, but what do I see myself doing? I am completely off of the idea of going into art, even though I've wanted to pursue a career in art since I was little. Oh well, I should really stop with these meaningless rants. Oh man, I had a strange dream last night. Younger N was all over this guy Anthony from school. What's funny about that you ask? My sister's friend Nicole is with him... I'm so weird. Yeah, I guess that just goes to show you can never forget the ones you love.

I'm so high...and I'm never gonna come back down...

2005-09-04T15:51:05Z

Damn, I didn't appreciate Man's Myth until I saw Twiztid perform some of that shit live. Now it hasn't left the CD player. There's so much shit going on with the record label know as Psychopathic within the next few months! I know that NO ONE who reads my journal gives a shit, but oh well. I need to get tickets for Kottonmouth Kings on November 17th since it's at BB Kings...but that's quite some time away so I'm in no rush. I'm hittin that shit up with my boy Casper of course. I met him at the Twiztid show, and I'm glad I finally have a Juggalo to chill with. Back on topic... The Hallowicked Tour is coming back around soon. This year there won't be five, but SIX dates! Since none of them are anywhere near me, I plan to go to the one on Halloween night. It's in Detroit, MI but is rumored to be the freshest of all dates. I have a little less than 2 months to get that shit worked out, I'm so fuckin excited! Forgotten Freshness Volume 4 comes out November 15th, gotta pick that up. It probably sounds lame as hell to everyone else that I'm so hyped up about something like this, but being a Juggalette, it's expected. So fuck you for thinking I'm lame! Anyways... Gini's party on Friday was crazy! I definitely had fun, but I paid for it last night. I was passed out by like 11. I have to go to work, so I guess I'll cut it short. OH MY GOD! The weirdest thing happened on Friday at work. I saw a girl who looked vaguely familiar who came in with some forms. After she left, I looked at the name and it turns out that I DO know her. Fuckin Jen Gorges! She moved in like 6th grade and was that girl that everyone and their mom made fun of. Yeah... okay, I'm out.

MMFCL!

a_gaping_hole @ 2005-08-30T15:35:00

2005-08-30T19:37:21Z

Twiztid, ABK, The ROC and Project Deadman fuckin kilt it and tore the roof off BB Kings! My love for everyhting that is Juggalo has grown. Pizza hut's stuffed crust owns your ass.

a_gaping_hole @ 2005-08-27T03:30:00

2005-08-27T07:45:35Z

It's so lame that I'm, listening to this song right now, but it's so appropriate for the time. This is exactly the way I would picture it in a movie... except I didn't realize that it's my reality. I graduated highschool in June, and so did many of my closest friends. They're all leaving for college within the next week-most this weekend. It didn't hit me until tonight. We all got together and just had fun for one last night before we all parted ways. Don't get me wrong, I still have some around, but it's just not the same. You never realize how much you really enjoy having certain people around until it's time for them to leave. Seeing Justine, my Peecoles, in tears almost had me crying. This was one of the most fun nights I've had in a while. I don't think I've laughed so hard in a long time. I needed it, it's one of the best feelings. Being with some close friends, and just having a good time for the sake of some memories... priceless. I can't even begin to explain what I'm feeling right now. This makes absolutely no sense, I'm rambling. I hate goodbyes... even though I know I'll see them all again. I held back from crying when I was out, I did get rather choked up... but I kept it in. Now, I'm crying like a little bitch because it hit me as hard as it is ever going to. I shouldn't make such a big deal about this, but I can't help it. Years of memories with people I care a lot about, and even people I haven't known as long. Yeah, I need to stop thinking about this. I just want everyone to know that I won't forget about you, and that I'll miss you a lot. <3

a_gaping_hole @ 2005-08-17T00:53:00

2005-08-17T04:59:54Z

Yep, it's back. I can't seem to fucking escape this. I'm depressed again, and I'm not exactly sure why. Okay, I kinda know why...but I shouldn't be. I'm fucking sick of feeling this way. I deserve to be happy at some point too. I have seriously been considering being evaluated and accepting any medication that is suggested... I just wanna be happy and have all of this go away. So what if I gain 500 pounds? No one fucking likes me as it is. It's not like I'm happy with the way I look anyway...I never will be. I'd rather be happy...even with the help of meds, because I just wanna be able to feel that again. I can't even think properly right now...

a_gaping_hole @ 2005-08-10T15:03:00

2005-08-10T19:07:49Z

I haven't updated in a while. I was goin got do it now, but I don't feel like it.

a_gaping_hole @ 2005-08-01T00:22:00

2005-08-01T04:50:57Z

I've gotten to the point where I can't really stand anyone or anything in my life anymore. I have a shitload of things going wrong right now and am having quite a hard time dealing with them all. I want to get on the 186, get off at the GWB and just fucking jump off of it while screaming at the top of my lungs. Too bad I won't catch any of the last few in time. I really think I've hit the brink of insanity. Nothing makes sense anymore, and I can never come up with rational solutions to any of my problems. I don't want to live here anymore, although I love Leanne and her family to death. I just can't stand it any longer...amongst many other things. It's too bad that I can definitely not afford to get a place of my own anytime soon. I want to build a cabin in a secluded region of the boonies and tell everyone to fuck off. I would be perfectly fine with not having anything to do with anyone anymore. I've been feeling like total shit lately. All I want to do is sleep, and even when I do, I wake up and just want to go right back to bed. I'm always tired, and I really have no motivation to do anything. Depression maybe? I have off from work all this week for some reason, which is great becasue now I'll just continue to be broke. So much for that full-time position. I think I'm gonna walk around and attempt to find another job tomorrow since I have no money and nothing else to occupy my time. I went to Sleazeside with Christina, Josh, and the craziest bitch I've ever met. It was fun, except the whole part of that psycho being there. Yeah, she needs some serious fucking help, but let's not get into that. I guess I shouldn't really say anything about anyone else being crazy because look at me. I wish I could find someone who hated me enough to kill me. When I find them, I will definitely ask that favor of them...or just instigate it to happen. My entire fucking life has been nothing but bullshit so why should I think it's ever gonna change?

You know I'm such a fool for you...

2005-07-27T16:18:59Z

I wrote an entry right before I went to sleep last night. I think that's why I had a dream about pretty much all of the things that have been bothering me lately... because they were all fresh in my mind when I went to bed. I hate when that happens... I was like put in every awkward position possible. Now I have the whole day to continue thinking about them all, fabulous. I would go into detail, but people who may read my journal were involved. I never even update my journal anymore, nevermind two days in a row. I can't wait for school to start. Between going there and working, I'll have no freetime. I need to keep myself busy so I don't sit around and think about things. I also need to make more money. Fuck Food Basics, they keep dicking me over and I really can't afford to be in that situation any longer. This really is where I make the choices that will make or break me. That alone scares the shit out of me becasue I'm the only person who can decide what I'll do now. Oh boy...